Growing Up
Obviously growing up is not easy. Growing up presents its challenges, yet it's filled with delightful experiences that are invaluable. The price of making mistakes is relatively low in youth, especially if they are handled responsibly, including managing their consequences. There are moments and experiences unique to our younger years, often only appreciated once in a lifetime. This concept is eloquently depicted in the film “A Chinese Odyssey,” a realization that often strikes more profoundly in adulthood. Such revelations underscore the beauty inherent in the journey of life.
One of my children expressed a desire to grow up, envisioning the ability to engage in various activities like cooking and driving. This wish was intricately linked to specific ages, a correlation possibly gleaned from observations, such as the legal driving age. Curious, I researched the age requirements for a driver's license and discovered they differ across U.S. states. This actually makes sense when I put more thoughts on it. This variability prompted a deeper reflection: Is age truly an accurate measure of maturity? If not, what then are the genuine indicators of adulthood? What truly constitutes the transition from youth to maturity? What things make a person a grown up?
Conversely, another of my children expressed a reluctance to grow up. She perceives adulthood as a time filled with worries and responsibilities, where fanciful dreams like living with unicorns must be set aside. In her eyes, adults are burdened with tasks such as caring for others. She yearns for what she considers a simpler, more 'normal' life. While this aspiration is admirable and worthy of further discussion, my experience suggests that leading a 'simple' life is far from effortless. It often requires significant sacrifices, the strength to resist various temptations, and the skill to navigate one's personal information bubble/cocoon effectively.
In China, there's a prevalent concept known as 'full-time children.' This echoes an ancient Chinese proverb: a child remains their parents' child, regardless of age. Technological advances have significantly extended our physical lifespan, traditionally defining adulthood in terms of physical age. Yet, societal changes have led to a delayed onset of adulthood. Many individuals are not fully prepared for adult responsibilities at 18 or 21, suggesting that physical age is no longer a reliable marker of adulthood. In some Asian countries, the extended duration of educational pursuits means that while young people may achieve maturity in academic contexts, they often lack experience in other aspects of adult life, leading to societal imbalances. This raises questions about the role of governments in addressing issues like degree inflation and ensuring the quality of education. Intriguingly, as people age, they often display more childlike behaviors. I've noticed this in caring for my elderly father, who increasingly exhibits childlike tendencies.
I have begun to ponder what experiences are essential for my children to navigate as they prepare for adulthood. This is not a straightforward task, given that the very concept of adulthood varies widely. As I mentioned earlier, people may choose to pursue vastly different paths in their adult lives. Merely watching the days go by is not an effective approach. As parents, we must actively consider our role in guiding our children's growth. The debate around the 'tiger mother' concept is a case in point. Some parents vow never to adopt this strict approach, yet find themselves gradually shifting towards it due to environmental pressures, particularly in today's internet-saturated world. If we do not steer our children in positive directions, the vast and often unregulated expanse of the internet may influence them negatively. I refer to this as the 'invisible force of the internet,' a phenomenon worthy of its own discussion in the context of leading a simple life. This situation requires parents to be proactive and responsive in their parenting strategies.
Below is a list of key elements I believe are important for personal development, some of which I have thoroughly considered, while others are more instinctively recognized as essential. It's often overlooked that these skills and attributes require dedicated practice for improvement. I plan to expand upon this list over time, continually refining and adding to it based on deeper understanding and evolving perspectives:
To achieve a certain level of independence and function effectively within one's own social circle is crucial. This includes basic self-care like eating and sleeping well, and the ability to interact smoothly with others in your circle, picking up on social cues. It's akin to ballroom dancing, where you're conscious of both your presence and that of others. Many find contentment living within their familiar circles. However, stepping beyond this comfort zone requires an understanding that the world is complex, often more so than initially perceived. Protection in this broader context involves skills beyond the quantitative measures of numbers and equations. It involves considering a multitude of factors and recognizing that people differ significantly. Terms and concepts we consider 'natural' might not hold the same meaning for others. This realization is key in navigating the diverse tapestry of human interactions and experiences.
Assume and embrace specific responsibilities; for instance, if you choose to marry, fully acknowledge and accept the responsibilities that come with marriage. It's important to be aware and understanding of the commitments and duties involved in such a significant decision.
Develop self-awareness about your strengths (what you are good at) and weaknesses. Focus on continuously mitigating risks associated with your weaker areas. Remember, you don't need to excel in numerous things. Patience is key, as cultivating a positive relationship with time can be highly beneficial. Time is a critical factor which deserves a topic of its own; many situations yield different outcomes when viewed through the lens of time.
Cultivate the ability to let go, to acknowledge your mistakes, and to confront and manage your failures. Life is intricate and unpredictable, necessitating numerous decisions and readiness for unforeseen consequences. You have to make a lot of choices in life. Often, you'll face the challenge of assessing the immeasurable, such as the quality of something, which is inherently difficult to quantify. The complexity of life far exceeds what can be captured by econometric models or numerical calculations. Accept that mistakes are an inevitable part of this journey.
Develop skills to manage and control your temptations, whether they're as minor as craving an ice cream or as significant as the allure of power. Understanding and regulating these desires is crucial for personal growth and integrity.
Discover a passion that excites you, while also learning to derive enjoyment from mundane, routine tasks. For instance, I've found ways to make routine driving enjoyable by seeking out interesting aspects in the experience.
Cultivate advanced levels of thinking, as situations are often more complex than they initially appear. Engage in second-level thinking and beyond, where you delve deeper into the implications and consequences of events. For example, in response to an occurrence, challenge yourself to think about what might happen next. In financial contexts, instead of simply pondering whether a stock will rise or fall (first-level thinking), consider to what extent it might fluctuate, up by 5% to 10% or 10% to 15% (second-level thinking). Further, evaluate the probabilities of these fluctuations, analyzing the entire probability distribution of potential stock movements.
Adopt a flexible, multi-faceted mindset. Many people approach judgments and decisions with a singular perspective, but it's beneficial to have a variety of mindsets at your disposal. In decision-making, for instance, sometimes it's advantageous to adopt the mindset of a stock investor, focusing on identifying the best options, while at other times, a bond investor's approach, which involves avoiding the negative, may be more suitable. Often, people apply a stock investor's mindset to all life choices, such as selecting a partner, a college major, or a career path, potentially leading to unexpected or undesirable outcomes. Charlie Munger's inversion thinking is another example. Consider my personal experience with Lexus cars: at the dealership, they often highlight the reliability and longevity of their vehicles. However, I make it a point to ask about the drawbacks. The responses vary, but common answers include an outdated infotainment system. This prompts reflection on whether you're prepared to tolerate an outdated system for 20 years, especially after paying a premium price. Such scenarios underscore the importance of considering the inverse or complementary aspects of a situation, ensuring a more rounded and thorough decision-making process.
An ancient Chinese proverb states, “读万卷书，行万里路,” which translates to "Read ten thousand books, travel ten thousand miles." Today, 'reading' encompasses various formats: traditional paper books, audiobooks, blogs, videos, and podcasts. Engage with as many as possible, as reading is not only about acquiring knowledge but also a journey of self-exploration. In terms of travel, while we may not journey on foot as in the past, I suggest the modern equivalent of driving 100,000 miles. This experience offers abundant opportunities for learning and observation. There's no need for direct interaction or specific goals like climbing a mountain. Simply observing and listening can provide profound insights and understanding.
Develop the skill to view things and people from multiple perspectives, utilizing various senses, and importantly, incorporate the dimension of time in your observations. Refrain from rushing to a singular conclusion. When you consider the factor of time, new thoughts may emerge, potentially leading to a revised or more nuanced understanding. Short-form videos exemplify how beauty can be enhanced by focusing on certain angles while omitting others, demonstrating that things often possess a greater allure than what is perceived from a limited viewpoint.